Marriage, Family, and Cultural Change

Fourth Quarter 2000

A Christian Perspective

by Elaine Storkey

The question of the meaning of human identity, personhood, and community needs to be addressed constantly in every society. If Christians are to make any impact here, they have to do so in a way that engages with the culture as a whole, as well as in our life within church communities. Music, art, literature, film, stories have all been used to spread the message that our human identity is an enigma. Pessimism and anxiety about the meaning of the person fill our screens and populate our cinemas. Unless Christians too are involved in the arts in a creative and constructive way, we shall find it increasingly difficult to convey our own belief in the significance of being human.

But we also need to address the normative structure of relationships. From a biblical perspective, our intimate relationships are normed by troth, faithfulness, commitment, love, nurture, interdependency, union, and mutual self-giving. That means, in effect, there has to be a public statement of the nature of the relationship into which two people enter. It needs to be recognized by other institutions in society: by the law, the state, the taxation system, the institution of work and the church. Cohabitation, as a merely "private" arrangement between two individuals violates this need for societal acknowledgment, and thereby legal protection. Yet a marriage is more than a relationship ratified by the law. It provides the context for sexual expression, erotic love, and daily communion of two people. Today, when we demonstrate this in a commitment to faithful-ness "till death do us part," we are doing something that has become counter-cultural.

There is, nevertheless, no single model of a Christian marriage or family life. Although every marriage and family are expressions of the creation structure which God has laid down, each one of them has its own unique experience of community. And within those normative structures, God gives couples and families freedom to work out creatively how they can best reflect and enjoy the love of Christ in their lives together.

In this respect, Western Christians need to respect and learn from the family experiences of cultures of other traditions. There is no doubt, for example, that the survival of the Jews as an identifiable group has been largely due to the impact of Jewish family life through the many centuries of diaspora. On another note, many African, Asian, and Latin American cultures reflect more clearly today a Christian norm for internal family life than do those in many European cultures. Respect for the elderly, obedience to parents, care of children, and supportive community living are models that Christians in the West can learn from.

[Dr. Storkey is a scholar, radio commentator, and popular speaker who lives just outside London, England. Her latest books include Created or Constructed? The Great Gender Debate (Paternoster, 2000), and Origins of Difference (Baker Book House, forthcoming in 2001). This article is excerpted from a paper she presented at an international conference "Christianity and Cultures" in Hoeven, The Netherlands, August 21-25, 2000, organized by the international Association for Reformational Philosophy.]

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Newest Kuyper Lecture Book: Women and the Future of the Family

Elizabeth Fox-Genovese, Stanley Grenz, Mardi Keyes, and Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen illuminate many important issues that now dominate public discussion of women and families in our society. Their disagreements only help to highlight the importance of the task facing Christians today of developing a comprehensive perspective on women, the family, and public life.

The modern individualist, autonomy gospel cannot lead to justice for women, children, and families any more than it has led to justice for men. A Christian perspective must be grounded in the assumption that human beings are created in the image of God, made for a relationship with God, and called to mutual service for the glory of God.